Energy and How It Shapes Your Life

Energy. It’s one of those words we throw around without really stopping to think about what it means. “I’ve got no energy,” “They drained my energy,” “That place just has bad energy.”

But here’s the thing: your energy is more than tiredness or motivation. It’s the essence of how you show up in the world. It’s the invisible frequency that other people pick up on before you even open your mouth. And it has the power to either expand your life or shrink it.

For years, I lived in survival mode without even realising it. On the outside I was functioning, supporting others, holding it all together because that's what you do right. Everyone else seemed to manage and I didn’t want to appear as if I couldn't. But  on the inside I was exhausted. My energy was scattered and it was no surprise that I kept attracting the wrong situations and people. Because the energy you carry and share to the world, is the energy you also call in. And trust me I was carrying a lot of negative energy.

But the good news was that once I noticed my energy and learned how to shift it, everything began to feel different.

I use an energetics framework with my clients to bring clarity to what’s going on beneath the surface. Think of it as a map that shows where your energy is sitting.

Low Feminine (Repels – Ego, Being)

This is where people-pleasing lives. You say yes when you mean no. You hide your needs because you’re terrified of rejection. You give your power away to others and then feel drained, tired, and resentful. You compare yourself, slip into imposter syndrome, and often put on the mask of “superwoman” whilst inside you’re crumbling.

Low Masculine (Pushes – Ego, Doing)

Here, your energy feels forceful. You push to prove yourself. You may become controlling, overbearing, or snappy because you’re running on fear. It might show up as money panic, desperate action-taking, or blaming others when things don’t work out. It’s a place of pressure, not presence.

High Feminine (Attracts – Heart, Being)

This is the energy of trust and joy. You feel free, expansive, and in flow. You know how to enjoy the moment, you accept compliments, and you allow yourself to feel good without guilt. People want to be around you because your energy feels light and nourishing.

High Masculine (Drives – Heart, Doing)

This is where purpose lives. You’re clear, decisive, and forward-facing. You’re not pushing, you’re creating. You act with intention and follow through. This energy is strong, rooted, and powerful but not overpowering. It’s leadership at its best.

The goal isn’t to sit in any one box all the time. It’s to notice where you are and create balance between being and doing, feminine and masculine. When those are integrated, you move from a place of love rather than ego.

Think about the last time someone walked into a room angry. You didn’t need to be told. You felt it. That’s energy.

Now think of a time you were around someone calm, centred, and grounded. Without trying, they made you feel safer, lighter, and more at ease. That’s energy too.

Your energy impacts everything:

• The tone of your family life
• The way people respond to you at work
• The opportunities that show up (or don’t)
• The quality of your relationships
• And most importantly, how you experience yourself

If you’re constantly in low energy, you’ll find yourself stuck in repeating cycles: snapping at people you love, saying yes when you mean no, or burning out because you’re overdoing everything.

When you shift into high energy, life flows. You’ll notice you attract better people, make clearer decisions, and feel more like yourself.

Awareness is always the first step. So ask yourself:

• Am I repelling connection because I’m in people-pleasing mode, always bending myself to keep others happy?
• Am I pushing people away because I’m trying too hard or forcing outcomes?
• Am I letting things feel lighter, or am I making everything harder than it needs to be?
• Where am I leaking energy by abandoning myself?

Write these questions down. Sit with them for a while. Be honest with yourself. When you can see where you are, you can choose where you want to be.

Energy doesn’t shift because you wish it would. It shifts because you take action.

• Ground yourself: If you’re anxious or overwhelmed, stop and breathe. Put your feet on the floor. Step outside, feel the air on your skin. Hug a tree - honestly it works even just touching it for a while will do the job! Grounding tells your nervous system that you’re safe.
• Move your body: Energy gets stuck when you sit still in stress. Dance around the kitchen, shake out your arms, go for a walk or do a few stretches. It changes how you feel instantly.
• Check your thoughts: Notice the story you’re telling yourself. Are you feeding yourself with “I’m not enough,” “This always goes wrong for me,” or “I can’t cope”? Those thoughts keep you in low energy. Start replacing them with gentler, truer words.

Balance being and doing: If you’re burnt out, add moments of stillness. If you’re stuck in stillness, take one small action. Energy shifts with balance.

Quick fixes are useful, but sustainable energy shifts come from deeper work. This means:

• Setting boundaries so you stop leaking energy into places that don’t serve you.
• Building self-belief so you trust your decisions instead of doubting yourself into exhaustion.
• Taking responsibility for your reactions, so you’re not stuck in a cycle of blaming or rescuing others.
• Reprogramming limiting beliefs that keep pulling you back into survival mode.

This is the work I do with my clients. Because when you change your inner energy, your outer world can’t help but shift too.

Here’s the connection that most people miss: your energy is tied directly to your self-belief.

When you doubt yourself, your energy contracts. When you believe in yourself, your energy expands. People feel that. You feel that. And the ripple effect is huge.

That’s why working on your energy isn’t just about feeling better, it’s about reclaiming your power. It’s about shifting out of patterns of fear and into patterns of love.

So, pause for a moment. Ask yourself:

• What energy am I living in right now?
• Is this the energy I want to keep carrying forward?
• Or is it time to shift?

Your energy is not fixed. You can reclaim it. You can shift it. And when you do, everything changes.

Change begins when you say yes to yourself.